Kelly Ripa‘s popular daytime talk-show host has a new book coming out, Live Wire Long-Winded Short Stories, that contains a story world. As told on Haute Living, the sketch captioned, “Don t Let Your Husband Pick Your Death Clothes,” recalls when Ripa was newly married on 1997 to All My Children co-star Mark Consuelos and a new mother to their son, Michael, who was just six months old.
She and Consuelos were enjoying some intimate time together, Ripa writes, when pain from a ruptured ovarian cyst caused her to black out. When she woke up in the emergency room, her husband had dressed her in a 1980s-style French-cut leotard and a pair of red Manolo Blahnik shoes that Ripa said made her look like a prostitute.
“My eyes shift between the fluffy pictures on the screen, the remainders of my ovarian victimizer, and Mark cheerfully nibbling ceaselessly. Sex can be so awful I think, but one of us is totally steadfast,” Ripa writes in her book of genuine brief tales. “He is right there, cheerfully chomping on the saltines now and requesting a second squeezed apple. Imprint could be at a film, or a spa. All things being equal, I’m level on my back pondering when the other two blisters will explode.”
“Likewise, here is my better half, who is, might I venture to say, snappy, fashionable consistently, but he dressed me like a dime store whore in my period of scarcity. It’s actually puzzling to me right up to the present day that this is the best outfit for the day that he could find for me, to the place where, when I was on the cot, I assumed I was dreaming; I was having a bad dream,” she added. “I didn’t understand I had come to.”
Ripa’s book is planned to be distributed on September 27.
